Insomniac musings

I want to communicate something, but I don't know what or how.
Do you ever get that?
The soul seems to understand something without engaging the brain. Some new piece of information clicks into place, and an old thought pattern fades away. Instant understanding in a way, sure. But sometimes it's not easy to convey exactly what you understand.
I think that's what I really admire about academics. It's not enough to have a thought, they have to pin it down, attack it from all angles, see if it stands up under scrutiny.
I don't have that discipline, maybe that's why I have difficulty expressing some concepts. I live with my heart on my sleeve, (A lovely way of describing knee-jerk reactions and groundless assumptions). I also tend to believe things I am told by people I consider believable.
(This particular insanity I can pin down though. I once tried to apply scientific theory to something my father told me. He was so insulted by the thought that I would dare to actually check primary sources to backup his statements, that I was traumatised by his reaction into just believing from there on in).
It's another reason to be thankful for the show. I am grateful to everyone who listens of course, but I would go on without an audience I think. The opportunity to scrutinise my own thoughts has been very good for me. I am getting better at focusing my ideas I think.
I'm also dumping some prejudices, which is also good. I used to think it was ok to sling mud at the Yanks because they are of the same kind of genetic stock as we, (The multi-cultural melting pot layered over a European base). For my whole life I have heard Americans vilified, and it's only now that I am realising that they are people just like us, if more open and up front about their feelings, (In that respect, I guess you could say I'm trying to be more American. How's THAT eh!? Ha!)
It's more than that too.
Questioning everything, trying to form my own opinions about things based on multiple sources rather than just believing everything I hear, and most importantly trying to meet new ideas, experiences and people without preconceptions clouding my judgment.
Who knows. Some day we may see Steve dancing at an Emo party in amongst a gang of young werewolves from LA with a big grin on his face, enjoying the freedom of expression and lack of self-censorship.